ALBUM:

De-Loused in the Comatorium by The Mars Volta (2003)

PRODUCER:

Rick Rubin, Omar Rodríguez-López

GENRE:

Progressive rock, Latin jazz, metal

CANNABIS:

Winter Wonderland Preroll

CULTIVATED BY:

Moon Made Farms

EFFECTS:

Serenity now!

AROMA:

The kitchen from The Great British Bake Off holiday special

My favorite part of each year coming to a close is the release of a new “12 Jays of X-Mas” box from Emerald Triangle Craft—a limited-edition gift box of 12 premium prerolls curated from the top sustainable craft producers in the NorCal region. With such a murderer’s row of options sitting in front of me, it speaks volumes that the first tube I grabbed was Winter Wonderland from Moon Made Farms. This is a combo of their signature Mic Drop (Grapes & Cream x Lemon Drop), which marries a gassy, dessert THC bomb with more of that Grapes & Cream to produce an unrivaled bouquet of rich flavors: creamy Nutella and instant espresso powder, with minor notes of cloves and toast. I brew a seasonal cider every year with nutmeg, allspice, and cinnamon and am noticing some similarities.

These smoke like a dream, with a prominent oil ring rapidly developing and an easy smoothness to them. You’ll want to keep an eye out for their Moon Dog and/or Hawaiian Fanta releases. I tend to smoke a lot of Moon Made—and while I may slightly prefer the flavors of some of their other cultivars, the effects on this Winter Wonderland are top-tier. These leave you feeling extremely relaxed, serene, and happy, with just the right balance of cerebral uplift. Expect a little third-person mode style dissociation, a bit like the Ashram Kush I’ve mentioned here before.

All aside, you know why I’m obsessed with Moon Made? Their founder, Tina Gordon. Her background as a producer, musician, and documentary filmmaker infuses her work with style, a true sense of cool that most brands will never capture. The difference is authenticity. No billion-dollar branding firm can tell you why showing up to events in a matte black muscle car straight out of Stuntman Mike’s garage (Death Proof, anyone?) with a boot full of mason jars is the move, you’ve just got to live it.

Tina is a drummer, so I’m leaning into that with my pairing. While she had turned me on to the artist Moondog before, alas, I don’t own any of their work, so let’s roll with the percussion-heavy De-Loused in the Comatorium, one of the best debut albums of all-time from The Mars Volta. As the drums begin to build on opener “Son et Lumière” before crescendoing into the launch of “Inertiatic Esp,” it's a full-on sonic blitzkrieg, with Cedric Bixler-Zavala’s voice as the screaming Jericho trumpets. Imagine Led Zeppelin but fronted by Santana while he’s peaking at Woodstock. Hitting this Winter Wonderland will help soften TMV’s blow, making them easier to digest.

ALBUM:

Capacity by Big Thief (2017)

PRODUCER:

Andrew Sarlo

GENRE:

Sad girl soft indie folk

CANNABIS:

Dump Truck Live Rosin

CULTIVATED BY:

Team Elite Genetics

EFFECTS:

Zzzz

AROMA:

Gwar’s tour bus (mainly bile and gasoline)

If you’ve spent any time in SoCal over the past 15 years, you should know Team Elite Genetics. Founder Steve Castillo is one of the kings of craft living soil indoor, handcrafting his own nutrient blends as he transforms small batches of this 33x award-winning cannabis into flower, vapes, and jarred rosin. They showcase the world’s finest genetics in a manner that must be experienced firsthand to fully understand their impact. Every jar is a show-stopper, dripping with terpenes and delivering nuanced effects.

The aroma of this Dump Truck (Diesel Truck OG x Styrofoam Cup #16) far exceeds “normal” levels of gassy, OG diesel funk. One whiff will leave you thoroughly entranced (or repulsed) with notes of sickly-sweet bile, burnt rubber, and gasoline. It’s a trash can sitting on the infield of the Indy 500, brimming with tailgate leftovers.

Effects-wise, this full indica will put your ass to sleep. The ultimate wind-down strain, torching a few globs affords a surefire means to erase the day’s struggles, leaving you damn near comatose. As close as you can get to taking a tranq dart to the jugular. I’m going with Brooklyn hipsters Big Thief here and their second album Capacity—the audio equivalent of cat napping on a porch swing during a light summer shower. Think Jewel but without the yodeling. Big vegan coffee shop energy. “Mary,” “Pretty Things,” and “Shark Smile” each will lull you to sleep, underscored by Adrianne Lenker’s soft, soothing poetry. I mean, they have a track called “Coma,” for god's sake, and it was recorded (analog) in a literal farmhouse. This will go hand-in-hand with the Dump Truck to help you declutter whatever trash has been weighing you down.

ALBUM:

The Slim Shady LP by Eminem (1999)

PRODUCER:

Dr. Dre, Bass Brothers, Mel-Man

GENRE:

Rap, horrorcore

CANNABIS:

#26

CULTIVATED BY:

Canna Country Farms

DISTRIBUTED BY:

Redwood Roots

EFFECTS:

Playful creative energy

AROMA:

Grass, citrus, pepper, passion fruit

Who doesn’t love a purple sativa? Southern Humboldt’s Canna Country Farms has an epic one, their #26 (Forbidden Fruit x Cherimoya), which can regularly be found in market—and should be at the top of your hit list. You’ll find #26 distributed by Redwood Roots, who partner with over half of the region’s legacy small farms to bring a taste of their magic beyond the Triangle. As much as I love a good indoor, there’s something to be said about farms where they’re growing berries, fruit trees, and veggies right alongside their cannabis.

#26 has me feeling bouncy and electric. I’m left creative, social, talkative (much to my wife’s dismay when she’s just trying to watch the Heated Rivalry finale) yet still firmly relaxed. The buzz you’ll feel swelling behind your eyes is a clear signal of its potency. My aforementioned wife gets notes of dried farm grass and citrus, while I notice a ton of black licorice on the dry hit. It’s a little sweet and earthy, certainly complex with hints of black pepper, lavender, and passion fruit. I can say without hesitation that this is one of my favorite smokes and thus, is one deserving of album pairing equally near and dear to my heart: The Slim Shady LP. The early work of a playful, trickster of an artist with beats this bud will only help to boost.

I was introduced to Eminem on the elementary school playground, as we’d pass around a Discman and take turns being entranced by Marshall’s bars. It was everything our parents had told us to stay away from... hell, they’d have flipped their lids if we had ventured anywhere near 8 Mile. Recorded immediately after he was fired from Gilbert’s Lodge in ‘97 (my Grandma’s local pizza place... so can I claim that Em cooked for us?), The Slim Shady LP is a hip-hop/horrorcore masterpiece. Rolling Stone dubbed it “jaw-droppingly perverse” but for fellow kids raised on sci-fi and slasher flicks, this was our Beatlemania. If “My Name Is” or “Role Model” still doesn’t ignite something in you, then well, just try hard.

ALBUM:

Viagr Aboys by Viagra Boys (2025)

PRODUCER:

Viagra Boys, Pelle Gunnerfeldt

GENRE:

Post-punk

CANNABIS:

Blue Dream (510 thread cartridge)

CULTIVATED BY:

Halara

EFFECTS:

It’ll paint a blissful smile on your face

AROMA:

Blueberries growing in a forest field

Carts can be hit or miss for me, so it takes a truly exceptional one to make this column. Halara’s additive-free, high-THC Blue Dream cart more than gets the job done. I dig Halara because of their focus on health—leveraging “dental grade” ceramic for even heating and better terp preservation—and giving back to the community, as they’re a Certified B Corp. I'm not going to claim that “this is a cart that doesn’t smoke like a cart”, as it’s become too cliche... but it’s close. Available for just $25, you’ll get a lot of mileage out of one before it runs dry.

Blue Dream (DJ Short’s immortal Blueberry x Haze cross) is the top-selling cultivar in the entire state, so I’m going to assume you’ve tried it before. Known for its ability to melt away stress and replace it with unbridled positivity, Blue Dream provides that sense of fun you’ve been hunting for since your earliest times getting high. An ideal choice for beginners that experts (mostly) won’t turn their noses up at... and it doesn’t hurt that it's also deliciously fruity and herbal on your palate.

If I’m ripping this cart until it blinks, I’d want to be at a Viagra Boys show. They seem to be having more fun than any band out there. Now on their fourth album, released under their newly-minted Shrimptech Enterprises label, these Swedish punks burst onto the scene with their earworm “Sports” and may be single-handedly responsible for restoring my faith that the torch dropped by acts like The Stooges is being carried on with gusto. Seb Murphy, their oft shirtless, tattooed frontman (originally from San Rafael) with a penchant for Adidas tracksuits was discovered by the rest of the band in Stockholm while drunkenly karaokeing Mariah Carey’s “We Belong Together,” so you know these guys know how to party. A little Blue Dream will help you to get on their level.

Halara is Greek for “take it easy” and with this cart, it's clear their mission has been accomplished. Now it's time for YOU to take it easy, so finish out this issue and throw on the “Man Made of Meat” or “The Bog Body” videos for a little gross-out humor and get weird with it.

Jake Kuczeruk is cannabis expert and writer for the Budist app. He’s worked with numerous brands, driven market expansion, and cultivated a deep product knowledge. He is passionate about old-school strains and landraces.